from a couch, little ones to tend to

catch the pieces of my distorted fairy tales that don’t suit you, or throw them away

now?

now you don’t care?

once they fed your wonder

get along, get along, get out

wander back down the palm waving path of those who believe in you

destroy every scream left as we continue fighting the lying of the light as cradles rock and the torture of darker hues brings about change we were destined to encounter with bloated bellies and fake coin counters pried from the earth our worth they grade

wide birth expanding our pay as we’ll wade in swirling water drains when the final flood finds you

you can only run so far, so long, and i bid you farewell as you grasp to the last breath of your past that failed

blaming the ones you resurrected in search of a tail that you would lead

eating each other

onward

folding to nothing except the examination of every atom never belonging to you

you were special right?

chosen?

i forget

who are you?

from a couch, pulled from the past relevant for the future, our present

**Cleaning up some ideas, i wanted to get this on this site to go back to.

Bonus, enjoy.

Written July 9, 2016:

To the death

Cities dead

Our children learning geography through humans eating humans blaming humans assuming humans racist humans scared humans.

Red

No, we can’t go there, children were shot, Mickey left the castle believe it or not, a new town marred and sandy hook scarred. Eiffel tower? and now the lonestar? St. Paul, New York, wait, let me stop.

It’s everywhere, where I’m not.

Oh, it’s here.

Less bullets more minds.

Why does it take death to realize

It’s racing through you when you first rub thighs

Inhaled between your infant cries

I can only surmise, you’ll act surprised when I say I see it deep set in those eyes.

Blue

The ones who kill others they haven’t met, willing to take a chance on a half baked bet

Fed through the tv set.

Aspersions cast

The stars of this show.

We are taught not to regret.

It’s in the mirror

A faint windex smear, I thought I scrubbed hard enough to make it clear.

The filthy ignorance of generations passed.

God damn Mississippi can we at least get past the spread of color on a gay mans mast or hue of human skin, please, at last!

Green

What were you told when you were young?

Face your fears and they’ll be overcome.

Face them with confidence, poise and grace

Not the end of a gun or scowl on your face.

My team, your team, the team that won.

We lost

A stain on cities, the cost?

Do you see your place in history?

Understand you matter?

Is this even reality?

Orange

Struggle to know that we are killing one another, killing one another, a child has a mother and you are killing my brother. Assumptions, gumption and praised ignorance

Come together!

This doesn’t make sense.

I don’t believe things are this bad, it’s illuminated by this new fad. Pop culture stupidity, video game invincibility.

Yellow

That’s a child, your neighbor, police officer – you can name them.

Black

So what now?

We can keep collecting cities, looking at kitties and all shapes of titties. Or, we can galvanize, open our eyes, stare in surprise about the reality that came from lies.

White

We don’t hate one another.

We’re Afraid.

from a couch, a shorty

stranded in a city made for me

the pilot who brought me here was sure i’d have a key to unlock the mystery buried in the sea of starlit sunshine that sunk our treasure it’s glowing beauty is all i remember in passionate riptides it was pulled out further and further and further and i gave up watching and decided to leave

**A draft that didn’t see light, not sure of date:

i wake up half baked and the world gives me time to add and equate the benefit of doubt due to the color of my skin a lapse of reason a few minutes to begin good intention seekers nicely imprisoned for laundering our whites, not the socks in the duffel, yet an equally angry vet wondering where the rules went with an ever changing board designed to adapt to rent its slipping away and the fear and intimidation that still sit silent in alien suburbs where they don’t see torches as necessary defense i’m the lucky one spewed out washing my skin duty delivered and i’m stuck within clambering to the next of kin where do i go? i want to help. i’m not one of “them” the great forgetting wasn’t lost on me i’m decidedly pretending i haven’t added to this. the start? polish and Italian joke books in 2nd grade, mocking street slang, defining identities by the size of their nose all the while being told ‘but you’re not one of those’ i wasn’t overtly taught to be racist, so i supposed, its who we are under the clothes that i wore in an effort to avoid confrontation i didn’t know why you couldn’t eat bacon. i should have asked. but when you’re born with privilege that you don’t even know math equation symmetry is all that’ll show.

adjust our lenses

feel the flow

all are one toe to toe

from a chair, facing east

i flipped you over

the frail fortunes you forgot to protect broke in fanciful little pieces and spread across the floor

i enjoyed watching them spread

mercury thermometers dropped from school scared children’s sucking mouths causing silver ball bounce suffers nothing compared to your display of degraded dances vanishing across dining room floors

i smile

cross legged sitting and staring at your entire sacrifice spilling on marble and granite

or is it concrete?

it’ll all be considered tacky someday

your vulgar view of thick magazine photos sent to high priced zip codes

exclusively i watch you linger in dim halls stalling for the right word to describe your molding

children watch waiting anticipating the direction they should fold their hands, does the head go down

bobbing like yours for new wood floors that match my memory of farmhouse’s that used to serve a purpose

i harbor some resentments

more contempt

for counterfeit measures and window dressing feathers falling from you as you parade like a puppet pulled by abstract concepts created to control

i shouldn’t care

why am i riled by your reviled rhetoric?

that’s the question

i do want an answer

it’s that you affect the whole

we all need a push and pull up-and-down this vacuous poll not another poll to show us the polarization of people working to provide pretenses for the next generation

maybe it’s that splatter you left behind oozing out, an amoebic matter membrane without defined borders merging and emerging recognizing it’s all concocted

i should have left you on your back

from bed, the plate is loaded

the line between love and unkind voices

voices that shake at a moments notice hoping we will go away during their midday walks to the food truck, ungratefully George Jeffrsoning it to the window hoping it’ll shake down a smile

it doesn’t translate

it wasn’t even close

he tries again assuming trips to Mexico count as language emersion experiences ordering tacos with american cheese

assuming

unseen eye rolls

he wraps it up and flip back his tie

you can do it in reverse order

the dramatic tie bit

or, is that later tonight

he gives the eye to a flipped gender he thinks he engendered while discussing the ‘nectar of the gods’ (his words to be sure) he’ll be gurgling with four other bloated fucks who look like him

unscrewing little black caps and discussing states and years

your status is clear and clearly defines the time you think your curfew is while you leave behind that high school sweetheart story you smile through after your first morning coffee to show you have enough sugar to kill the economy of both countries and reconcile erased travel trip nights ‘networking’

the caps piled up

your lease on life and luxury car allows you to make it home without a question from that swerve on your phone

you

you stumble in lingering with that last stop complaining she is acting like a cop while self serving yourself in the mirror through shaken and stirred lenses

she’s crying

you think it’s irrational

go to sleep

and stay there

from a stump, the rocks are piled high

capture the captains and make sure they can’t escape

where are they anyway?

the captains

oh, you thought there was only one who looked over what’s not captured by the sun

surprises left by ancient sign stealers who whisked away their peoples last complaints and walked on with a single saint

yet a sinner to each one helps balance this act

the third of five

we’ve risen now we rise in climatic predictability to gain invincibility and walk right through the power you create when there is nothing left to equate my fate left on a pile of sticks next to his burning bush

the sticks survived

while you contrived a fable to explain all the bread on your table as most are unable to find a stable

to sleep in

wickedness we’re steeped in

dreams we’re seeked in

the din

of sin

greets me again

i was looking for them

those captains

i’m not sure they escaped

i just wasn’t sure where to find them

from bed, a letter

Hi –

Thank you to all followers and those who stop-by to check out “my morning stream”. If you haven’t read the “about” tab, please do, it shares the process and project behind this blog.

In total, I’ll be looking at two years of streaming, editing, sharing, worrying, forgetting, fretting in self-conscious fits, and otherwise being a writer who feels as though they have something to share.

Delayed gratification, wrapping my head around insecurity, and understanding process are the underlying personal challenges i expose while undertaking this endeavor.

Themes that come out of my writing? Those are many and varying.

I rushed around a lot, still do some, though I’m coming to terms with my skin and abilities of what I am and who I share – what we have is one another. Not always peaceful, not always at war, and sometimes just being; yet together as we push and pull to create something greater than what came before.

By profession, and otherwise, i’m a teacher. i believe in the pursuit of being uncomfortable, taking risks, and sharing what we have to offer to continue sewing the infinite thread that passes through the tapestry of human history, as to not lose the fundamental pieces of who we are as beings.

Who are we?

People who desire love and community, people who are destined to experience loss and humility. One beat with billions of faces finding ways to contemplate and share experiences that bind us.

Thank you, again, for your support. Some days I’m embarrassed by what I publish, others proud, and sometimes I feel like I don’t know the person who wrote the words you see.

Surprise and mystery, of ourselves and one another, are reason enough to rise in the morning.

I look forward to conversation and visiting the worlds you create.

Thank you,

Andy