from a couch, pushing through

hair tossed aside

falling down

covering eyes, masking deceit

daily newspapers filled the beat

quickly tossed aside, recycled

redrawn

same words, different names, pictures with paragraphs stripping the game of any integrity left dripping onto bathroom floors during bowel movement rituals greeting morning

be your true self, beneath the veneer, it’s hard not to like the man with money, he enjoyed her company

he left her falling like a squeezed lemon, bitter displays, what you want to hear at the brink of devastation

never committing

sleepy soup brained middle men hopped on a choo choo train and wished away every friend they ever had, too much to relate to when minutes are split by today’s deceptive practice

wash, rinse, repeat?

admit that thinning spot is reality

expose vulnerability

move away from our dailies

into a grave

relieving concerns

we forgot how to behave

from a porch, let’s swim

howling back

walking cold, sweatshirt stretched as hands pull pockets past a waist strapped

just in case

in case my instincts and common sense, kindness and corner stance, can’t ward off an error by undereducated, underfunded, drug riddled corners with resting peace officers taking a hit

skim off the top

i’m drawn to the chalk outline, urine soaked sidewalks with prancing foreign faces finding clever-phrased posters drawing them in for food, or other shit we don’t need

the ocean is waiting for me

let’s swim

from bed, fragments joined

i don’t need to give you a beat

strip down, hold your own spoon

reading fragments, my life and mind

you should relate

ball point pens, bastardized purity

cannonballs drop and fly, one we smile

the other we die

if i provided the rhythm, sishboom-ta-sish-ma-bleepity-ba

the mistake is made

you’ll be gone, believing me

cadence in footsteps racing on moving sidewalks, bastards, i’ll say it again

there is no father, pretend

answers aren’t magic

amend, times change, however tragic

revolutions rearrange, chaotic static

pathways we once trusted

slap your knees

move your mouth, soliloquies

you don’t need me

there is no part

parting, to the end of this musical

joining the ripple

losing your need

for me to provide a beat

from bed, wrestling with the past

tag team matches were my favorite

the way they waited until just the right moment to slap hands, and rage on with new energy

rope shaking

coordinated uniforms

a bond taking on the world

i spent a lot of time watching them

legs crossed

sunday mornings

on-and-off eyeing last weeks doritoes crumbs hiding deep enough in green-shag-carpet pockets to be vacuum ignored, my “operation” ready pincher-fingers poking and prodding

i never ate a booger, but the red dust collateral-damage fragments found their way into my mouth

from time to time

hey, my stomach rumbled, and i couldn’t miss the match

bulldogs

warriors

bushwakers

brothers

and freebirds

i believed them, more than the moving voices thumping around in their own safe rooms behind and around me, joined together islands making a home, house, encapsulator of secrets and mirrors

alliances changed

interviews hijacked

an interpretative tussle-dance playing out on colored tubes while making sense of a childhood in real time, similarities shifted in my springtide mind (he is like him), connections made to characters

and caregivers

i, they, gave new strength and roles

i could relate

sort out the thunder from the rain

battle royals were saved for saturday nights

i hid under my covers while watching, wincing, and covering, real blood, real punishing blows, and coffin nails

they would leave

i’d get up

shaking my head

“was it real?”

from a porch, number two: trying to find peace in reality

doubting double-takes

going for another

it’s in the clouds, mist gathering causing a shudder from my insides out as i wander about dipping and gliding forgetting how to shout a subtle sigh pushes out my lips as the currents of air begin to rip and i finally feel eternity with no weight, now, no wait to melt into the gathering of other midnight mourning souls wishing away another breezeless night alone in smoke gathered rooms pretending we figured out our plight safety displayed in plumes that’ll fade away

eventually bringing morning, we shake that world from our consciousness

and drift through our day

from a porch, too angry to articulate

don’t tell me you didn’t have plans

that the same thing keeps ‘just coming up’

strategic

gain what you want, massage the message

it works with them

i already know your end game, so the steps you take whether stomping or prancing are all the same it’s the run up

to streetlight walks home, well, the home with a changing key for the next few nights that affect eternity and the buzzing of children who wait for your touch underneath their endured screams from someone who knows too much and can’t stand the throbbing pulse, pushing temples aside and blurring vision

double, now fly eye

learning to die

it’s simple division when one goes into two

you innocently mention the size of his phone asking if the number still works for the pad key code you used in madrid where you thought it was safe

where you hid

away from the throngs of passerby’s and street scene dealers whispering away cries from a thousand miles away, never to reach you

the ones who’ll believe they’re at fault

i denied myself trust once

engulfed in escapes through time and space to tree fort saturday nights letting him trace the lines leading me home

from bed, crossing property lines puts you in cages

kids in cages for crossing property lines

stay off his lawn, if you cross this figment of their imagination it threatens an insecurity born out of their disturbed, dirty, dead-soul mind-frame, and Gogol isn’t here to hold the mirror to the flaws you absorbed from enemies past

one time monsters are now what you hope to be

morph

are you afraid?

afraid, brown people will spill over to overthrow this overture to a symphony sewing discord, redirecting our friendship glances another distracted direction, wagner would be proud

waiting for your ovation

glimpses into the ebb and flow, of dots and nature’s boundary, needs you have down below, who am i to judge?

we froze the friends above, they used to be unthawed

so polite

i’m done listening, trying to understand

you don’t deserve the second hand that is heard clapping in forests alone where you’ve yet to tap natural nutrients to buy and sell for a single cell, there’s a cell in hell waiting to capture your lifeless soul you bought and sold for no more than the price of gold

they’re digging it up for you

stand still

wait here

we’ll come to you