i don’t dare dip into the den of disappointment i’ll take experiences for what they are and delve deeper into the place where i know something is listening to the thoughts that i lay with and there was no turning around when you called my name, the car door was closing, slow motion magnets tried pulling me back without the distraction that we’re under attack and bring back the lunch pack scooby snack disposable straws and underwoos we were comfortable then not knowing an end. the way people will set you up and down again can i continue without a sense of saying that something was alarming? lost my train paused and can’t regain the calm i felt when left coasting in my brain without regulation the laws of the insane can we say we’re there? letting in no distractions, the cat meow, warm bodies next to us, a rising sun daring us to drift through the day without stepping in to say that this kind of situation is not ok, we have to talk.

Poof.Cloud cover could provide a perfect opportunity to see you today. We used to sit under rin tin awnings listening to the pit patter as temperatures dropped, our faces lost, and when i brought another battle you kept reminding me to feel the mist moistening my face, realize the way our eyes squint and noses drool. you kept your cool, i lost my calm and sunday afternoons were spent in different spaces one trying to erase while the other craved another taste. Jingle jangle, the sound scared me. They were coming again. Can we climb for cover and convert? eat the experts and examine the dirt, you always flirted and made the plans can we lose each other one more time would you do something. help me pretend. where did you go? I see the swirls starting to fill the sky, you just drove by, i’m out here soaking wet and pissed off. this rain ruined me.

i wake up half baked and the world gives me time to add and equate the benefit of doubt due to the color of my skin a lapse of reason a few minutes to begin good intention seekers nicely imprisoned for laundering our whites not the socks in the duffel yet an equally angry vet wondering where the rules went with an ever changing board designed to adapt to rent its slipping away and the fear and intimidation that still sit silent in alien suburbs where they don’t see torches as necessary defense i’m the lucky one spewed out washing my skin duty delivered and i’m stuck within clambering to the next of kin where do i go? i want to help. i’m not one of them the great forgetting wasn’t lost on me i’m decidedly pretending i haven’t added to this. 

The insecurity hasn’t left i’m waiting for days when i don’t wander without wondering what you want it’s cold up here and down there we are lost it’s something i saw once in a daydream fistfight he didn’t like my shoes his hair was too tight couldn’t grab on my hands didn’t fit in my pockets i hated the feel of wool and you just stared at my eyes bagged and cold it wasn’t that you didn’t care it’s the capacity to fit another breath of discontent in the ribbon wound emotions of yesterday’s drip and it’s not fair yes it is no it’s not then again you always circle the parking lot waiting to drop in minutes wasted my heart sheltered from this stifling optimism it doesn’t compute i’m trying to mute the flashes of past encounters when you craved my desolation when the road wasn’t there a peer stretching into the ocean of something yellow something green colors are mixing now you’re in the scene get out these are my words that i write 

the restaurant didn’t make sense to her. crafting your own meal, waking to the counter, paying, walking herself out? 

she could have stayed home

yet moving among people with window shade eyes a compromise of time and rhythm and rhyme it’s then when the mystery unraveled itself a half full mustard on the top pantry shelf seeds to sew when she has the time it’s never not now that she’ll finally unwind without a glimpse at the bottom of the bottle that kept her in line and gave rise to a guy and eyes so sunken

they saw 

packing alone to head to the next stop where the bags will drop, synapses pop a single dragon wrestling to the top it’s coiled body shivering trying to shake the threat of desire. cold shower saturdays don’t stand a chance, keep feeding the dance with your pleading glance. faces never seen, elderly to teen, every human will let you use them in-between. then your back in line, mustard on rye, alone in the park. 

i laughed while dipping the ladle in my luggage of language today thinking of all the ways to say i can’t help but want to shove you off the side of a mountain and worship the other ones who are more enticing than the zebras you brought my way with their galloped faces, and worn out tread. i hopped on hoping to hear something different this time a reason to stretch before i try. walking by. drifting without a need to sigh before i die, you didn’t have to lie. it’ll happen you know. that final blow. so don’t forget. we danced together once without worrying what they saw and dipped our toes in what were still waters, glowing orbs above looking into saucers, taking off and joining that place perfectly positioned power pulling our paths this time our parents didn’t need to know, the glow, rub of the toe, it’s time to go. just when i knew what was getting into you we had obligations that seemingly grew. stay tethered, though at times we may tremble, jump off and reassemble.

fresh faces fall before me cuddled in the halls and the feeding frenzy needs no introduction they know the response and the calls their eyes reading the display on screens since birth the rituals acted out now it’s rehearsed this isn’t new or somehow them it’s a portrayal val kilmer as morrison who do you play and what to do the select few who don’t anticipate the next line and wade in the waters of time tested aggregates washing the stems leaving the rest for maggots where do you hang before the bell tolls in the summer splashes with gifts and moles or above the mire dripping with desire it’s you i must stop and inquire how does it feel always singing with the choir cause tacks in the road left you tired and flat alone whispering to the leaders and feeders who used leeches as bleeders quarters fill your pockets make sure to fill the meters and wash your hands on this first day of school can’t wait to listen to tales from the pool.

he wouldn’t get off the steps that day slumped and grey watching the way people walked by and politely said ‘hey’ was it Thursday? that was of little consequence he needed those interactions he created without saying a word. it’s symmetry he thought two perfectly set halves left in balance frozen in forever freight or thawed out love he didn’t appear hostile he wasn’t seen he didn’t make himself known everyone that walked by though could signal his cologne a standard act in their daily parade 
come tell me why i should dance again the tempo is never right and i can’t understand the left then right or is it right then right and left again i come back to boyhood violence win codes for infinity and fire spray automatics two dimensional spaced out blood baths kept hypnotic mom poured the tang as we forgot about the bang, munching mentos, combos, and touching no one. i thought about girls once or twice it was too late before they all just thought i was nice let’s see slow motion steps to the ceiling and dance on the moon by the time you touch my heart it will be too soon 

elephant eyes eating the public and taking the geese by surprise as they head south casting an end to the summer of surprise, blown before the candles were even lit this year they’re stepping their way through the human made lines and monuments with their continuous line of shit, wings have been clipped and we’ve all been ripped off by this migratory wonder being left to the land and butterflies died out long ago a monarch and jewel something to fuel the history of generations past the era is here i became a vegan after they wasted away the last steer, crabs engulfing the shores cars swerve out of habit yet they dropped through that secret trap door. our pathways and pursuits paved over, our adaptive nature left wondering where the signs are to tell us where to go we thought we’d know by now how to bow with respect and the nature of things is all we can quip as signs of seasons switching are in decline, we spend more time waiting in line for directions through this tumultuous decline. the geese. don’t blame them. create the climate for us all to share in the natural high “v”, get on and ride that morphed donkey.

keeping my eyes half split they’re filling with water my mouth needs spit this damn cat won’t quit purring, pawing, kneading, NIP it’s then i “oh dude why you do that” he bites my hands while wrangling his wiggles. he “falls” to the floor. i act surprised. rolling over. round two i feel the pressure change as he pounces the lumps at the lower end of my limbs ping pong pushes he’s one step ahead. i’m really not ready to get out of bed this heart beating alarm grows in intensity forcing away the thoughts of the days destiny i must live in this moment fight or concede. don’t you see her sleeping over there? oh, you want food? not me. could you have just said something. this language of yours locked in licks a morning ritual i’d rather listen to the forceful ticks leading up to my lunge from this world of slumber – ugh – time to get up.