from bed, a second attempt to run around the block

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

the same thing applies to you

creatures claw their way from my warm worn out chest beating through flesh and breaking bones seeking fresh air

a new host

a trusting soul

they paraded through

gnawing

unglued

putting out lights left glowing in the caverns of my emotions once held out for you to see

to taste

dine with

now waste

limp

once, i led the way

now my carcass splayed on a dining room table that once displayed the fortunes of letting go of our parents chains strangling their names and dancing over the mind numbing games of self righteousness

they played

ignorant of where it would leave us

the ones who watched

we took notes

i ruined you

you had a chance

when i told the truth

now the gremlins grow in you

waiting for a chance

to feast again

from bed, incomplete thoughts – insecure walks. (four separate start and stops)

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

it’s there

that growing temptation to fire off a string on nonsensical words to ward off your own decisions that don’t include me

i resist

you insist on not proactively pushing the keys to me to strip the plea of selfish lines layers in a cake we eat during morning fights with the voices that peak in continuous flows of captured blows deciphering the delicious flow of bought…

——————————————-

she arrived last night

on horseback of course

bare

——————————————–

gather up the remains of my patience

that burst into permanent pieces unable to be salvaged when you stopped checking in out of solidarity

and obligations led the way

waiting for seconds to sprint down the sink, you’d lose track when dining on their…

—————————————————

i checked in

you walked out

sinister sensations traveled down my spout

up the wall

figuring this fall

would be enough to push you away

i’m done

grab everything

from my grandpa’s bed, symbols crashing without vision

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

a fuzz-static symphony woke me

i quickly pulled a pillow with both hands around the back of my head and buried my tear streaked face in stained sheets wishing it away

sacrificing fresh air

it was never thin and clear up there

where i learned street signs shift with every passing whim and fancy that suits your manipulative fingers peeling back paper and shuffling cards

i lie alone

i can’t discern the nuanced back-peddling bullshit that brushes my elbows and keeps me sad from visions of you

another hour passes

the symphony is now a cacophony of syncopated chain saws driving through progress

leaving logs with lovers names scrawled in symbols of forgotten shame on the forest floor

once more

stop

i need to sleep

buzz, buzz, buzz

images take hold

past film footage strangles the vibrating death march emitted from the center of my skull

them, us, me, you, a cast of characters dangling, dancing, pounding, flashing through squinched eye lids reminding me why the noises are bearable, tolerable, escapable

the synchronization of your voice and face bring me to my feet

around echo reverberation corners i creep tossing the pillow

opening my eyes

sunrise

from my grandpa’s bed, drifting past graffiti

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

dance in deadened alleyways where street kids left their mark for us to mull over

the magnitude of a spray can stance against conformity

we direct this freedom dance

corralling creativity

explosions against normalcy

guiding

what if we let them go?

if they grazed from gardens undisturbed by our hands

trees with fruit that never makes it to a stand

enough for each who come to this land where an end is never found, though we’re all horizon bound

as the sun rises

we try to catch it

boomerang motions sustain life

tread and untread trails wait for our feet

where we’ll meet and discover what was left behind

listening to the soundtrack of humanities rewind

understanding the streaks of paint are ours, a depiction and understanding

the motion of stars

it’s not to far

follow me.

from my porch, destined to find us

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

exchanged interactions during midnight attractions centering around a common-purpose fire where we lose our eyes uncovering the lies that hinge us to this door closing slowly

we direct our attention inward and pout

it lasts only a moment

solitary stillness in a crowd

we paid our admission to mingle with like minds bobbing to a single rhythm

we glance around

voyeur tendencies alerted by sound

i drift back and recognize the collective

it disturbs my jaded perceptions bringing into focus the tentacles strumming and striking, dipping and retiring to a place where we know we’re safe

i run to feel free

from the porch, drifting through your apartment

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

i saw the question lines on your face

caution

symptoms of stranded times we can’t erase

or replace

travesties counted on a number line

waiting

disheveled and wet

a mess

coming home

walking in the door umbrella still erect slish slosh shoes mark where you’ve been plopping on a conditioned couch catching the moisture transfer from skin to clothes to cloth to a running nose joining the water logged face drops mixing with salt destined to put you to sleep

you sit

unrequited emotions

love

understood

you struggle off your clinging coat

winter hat removed

leaving knotted hair chaos covering your wrinkled lines lingering with each whimper recognizing loss

it’s over

your eyes close

only to open with shivering arms clutching the only one you have left

you’ll stay here

searching

for answers you understand

but can’t commit to

falling sideways you feel the weight

and fall asleep

from my porch, family stood above all

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

toxic conversations swing wildly around in ill tempered rooms where insecurity wanders wildly diverting our emotions to a response jerked to high knee kick ears closed eyes wide and nothing building in a surprise of where we can’t fathom the possibility that we aren’t able to connect the dots of rhythm leaving your pounding heart realization points filtering away the trust of balcony peering

can i trust you?

you’d have to open wide while i gash flesh and rip intestines from surprised organs hand over hand falling to the floor and you laugh, or cry, at least understand it’s a momentary glimpse into something other than them

the others

i see, sniff, and bite at disingenuously dangled desires designed to deteriorate

everything around them so their tethered tightened whitened and worn out soul can stand above the bloody mess declaring supremacy

i can stop smiling

guilt

from bed, i’ll be your waiting room

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

grab ahold of something more secure than me

lift yourself up and push beyond this pale blond destroyer dream

some things you can’t fix

as the clock ticks

and you can’t afford to waste any more reasons, or time

i’ll be fine, knowing who i am

you’re not the first

i’m a waiting room

uncomfortable and not maintained

inconsolable, temporary, fake fixtures and emotions feigned

a conduit

getting people from there to here and here to there, a rebound echo pulsating through muddy water thoughts in a washed out consciousness

that’s where i’m caught

i chose this

you

it’s an excuse

a position where i’m in control

get out? ha, then i’d have to think, deliver, expose, and shiver in sudden loses of uncontrollable impulses with lovers leaving for what would be another me if i were not he

it’s the easy way out

serving a single purpose

on second thought, come stay awhile

someday you’ll surface

and forget we ever met

from bed, which direction will we go?

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

you can’t see me

as the blood rushes to my head wondering why you just asked us to look further inside the blistering reality that tomorrow’s log books will show the names of every asshole who brandished a weapon that delivered a final silver shell to the temple of a reality that we lost control

there was only one choice

a solution to this poured over problem that plagues every tear drop collecting in chambers where the maids are in control we bow in service to every whim that’s diced up and trimmed for the next go around a sun that shines a bit brighter in our absence

the warming stops

our shivering hearts are store bought and no one kept the receipt

no returns

we can’t go back and release ourselves from travesties we ear marked to remember the drifting thoughts that led us to a doorway where ambushes were normalized and we lost sight of tomorrow’s parades

we would have marched

lock stepped and determined

if only we could see one another

from a chair, inhaling the last of your stare

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

drenched in her tears i stepped into the hallway shared by all the other fourth floor door dwellers stinking of fried chicken, body fetor, and incense

none of which were winning the odor war, an amalgamation of whiffs running wildly through our rooms

all but tuna

tuna sat in the corner waiting for the stench to reach its threshold

then, without hesitation, he’d zoom center stage through draft ways and air vents

nobody welcomed him

he wafted alone through bed sheets and hanging drapes, living in garbage bin tossed tin can creases

festering in mouth corners

absorbed in crumbly crusts left on plates for tomorrow’s cleaning

blasting our senses, giving way to other impressions

biding time

for the next unleashing

resting on your breathe

before the door shut, i turned around and took my final look

sorry for the last time

if i could click my heels i’d be back with her

the her before her, that’s right before you

for years i penetrated the aura swirling around

thinking i could make a new sound pound from the ground you stood on and around

i’ve learned

nothing’s wasted

if we walk away with something

it’s my turn

i’ll dry my shoulders

lift off your weight

make my way down the hall

it’s never too late

to inhale the sweet smell of something new