from my grandpa’s bed, symbols crashing without vision

a fuzz-static symphony woke me

i quickly pulled a pillow with both hands around the back of my head and buried my tear streaked face in stained sheets wishing it away

sacrificing fresh air

it was never thin and clear up there

where i learned street signs shift with every passing whim and fancy that suits your manipulative fingers peeling back paper and shuffling cards

i lie alone

i can’t discern the nuanced back-peddling bullshit that brushes my elbows and keeps me sad from visions of you

another hour passes

the symphony is now a cacophony of syncopated chain saws driving through progress

leaving logs with lovers names scrawled in symbols of forgotten shame on the forest floor

once more


i need to sleep

buzz, buzz, buzz

images take hold

past film footage strangles the vibrating death march emitted from the center of my skull

them, us, me, you, a cast of characters dangling, dancing, pounding, flashing through squinched eye lids reminding me why the noises are bearable, tolerable, escapable

the synchronization of your voice and face bring me to my feet

around echo reverberation corners i creep tossing the pillow

opening my eyes


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