delicate Dennis didn’t want his coffee cake

well wishes fell to the floor

your melody was washed ashore

tell the tale of the time you knew which way to go

i’m stumbling

it was morning bright captured sights nothing was going to give in to the thought that saturday’s dresses fell to the ground pounding in my memory the resonant tune of teenage times trapped in trees with my poetry lining the leaves as single words i said would freeze the ones who thought i was the sleeve, everything going up. it’s tuesday now and you’re still around grasping for the potion to unwind seashore saturday’s pouncing from room to room carrying my casket, an unknown tomb, no one knew where to put me so i jumped out and ran away wanting desperately to hold you again skin to skin stunned within fresh to the feeling of penny arcade attempts pulling strings and pushing buttons will you touch me now? it’s sunday and we went back upstairs conversations killed by you thinking i care. the door? where is it? you puppet space master without financial ties to help me get to the next flight. future founders will wonder what i did to you when history books are dropped off on their porch hoping someone will take them in, we recycled ours three days ago. just stop with the street fair get together and elbow rubbing events. i see you in your bath robe, time is making a better role for others. you’re stuck.

duck for cover

run away

i was eating panic soup while dreaming of you today

elastic waste bands

hands in pocket

shuffling from corner to corner hoping i don’t see you again

see

it wasn’t really dreaming

i was walking through zombie neighborhoods we used to haunt feeling cement remnants to discover what i want

exchange of trust

it blurred the canvas

catch a sickness

we’ll call it rebirth

caution tape and ropes around my neck

thank you

for wishing

pennies and crossed fingers

fuck themselves in corners

where drunk slobs relationships relieve themselves

that was me

rushing you with pain dirty hands

i just wanted confirmation that you cared

I listened to what you said

it wasn’t what i wanted to hear

lessons lit up by ghost covered trance stares living unaware of their bare bone throne caving in when i call home it isn’t that way anymore

you hit the floor while knowing what was in store for us to feast without the burden of conversations discussing passing clouds dig in now it can’t be found the view made breakfast and i left that morning. it’s so weird. multiple times a day i couldn’t imagine falling into you and the smell of that cabin where i died

spewing forth all forms

last night, settled chest

i cup my hand and catch your insight

we walk together

a little hits the floor

before

you go your way

and i go mine

i’ll pull your hair back

let me clean up first

i wouldn’t have done that for just anyone

it’s no use telling you that

its expected

let’s have breakfast

wait, i have something to say

satellites stopping the moment of rest i can’t hear your pulses or reflect on your ‘best’ image and situation painted for me it’s california nuts and the bird in a tree singing the anthem of everywhere she’s been carrying twigs of village and city the pity of knowing it can get so gritty with something in my mind

i can’t share my intention while i listen for forgotten goals in every situation fluttering through masking the blue of deserted wonder and work away glue i want you to know in this place we are ok. i won’t wish away the sanity we can gather around if we all drowned

she shudders in the shower

water washing wasted emotions down the drain

joining everyone else’s bodily throwaways

discards of what we don’t need

on her knees

less space to travel

it’s me who sent you to this place of unraveled threads a shredded out shoelace traveling further down until they’re left to decorate the deterioration of something we could have found before vanishing

i didn’t know my impact

i’m sorry

i didn’t realize you looked to me for direction

i was doing the same

i, i, i and more fucking ‘i’s’

i can’t stop this internal itch to investigate every situation…do you think of me?

is there an i to your we

do we stand a chance

perhaps you, you, you and more time taking ‘you’s’ are getting in the way with your shit baggage i know you showed up with shuffling through the door the sounds of buckles and zippers scraping the floor indelible marks those treasured trash bags of your history came in with you

and you left them there

half inside

which is half outside

it was partly cloudy

and we were unable to close the door

you flopped on the couch

i was suppose to make breakfast

you, what were you going to do again?

make what?

you almost got me

you almost

wait

i almost let you in again

knock knock

go away

i used to sing to her

late at night

she never knew

it was soft

not like me now

led away by the lure of laughs that carry down halls

conversations through bathroom stalls pretending there weren’t the walls to trap sounds of sniffing in silence to let go of violence a cast of caring hoping to make it through the day

i met you that way stunning in sunflicked styles eyes dialed back with youthful trials

walking closer

without chancing it

i will lose you soon enough

my lullabies

sat alone

feeding off a single tone

my regret

and inability to stay stable long enough for you to open your eyes

perhaps you were protecting your senses listening long enough to understand the pretenses that pass through tempted words even when shifted by a melody i stole from you

it wasn’t my song

i’m not that clever

sorting it out

we left the situation earlier than necessary yet no one was defining what that should look like as we collapsed in our own devices, it made more sense for the mellowdramatic equation to be left wandering through nightingale songs while dodo birds laugh at our attempt to be funny

i was finally left alone

i saw her again

standing leg up in front of a neon lit brick building

pounding a cigarette into her chest

less oxygen than tar filling her lungs spitting plumes of smoke into unqualified air

i stopped

she began at my shoes and stopped at my chest

i fell into her forehead before sliding in the door for my nightly pour of ‘god damn you’ and ‘what for?’

she walked in

more anger than sin

sat down beside me

i couldn’t tell which role i should play

her foot kicked mine as she searched for the footrest

nothing acknowledged

i glanced

hair mussed no face to be found

a glass showed up

and went away

one, two, three times that way

closer

i became her forgetting

absorbed her blood letting

images spilled in front of me as she got up

finally! i couldn’t remember why i came

questions remained for her shame

she left before my head could see

what was there

absorbed misery

she fled into the night air

i now carry her in my front chest pocket

left side

stifled memories brought up the sun

we left the park hearts skipping on strings lined with bobbers

pants dirtier than the ground we slept on you were the one who asked to chase the rabbit into the trees it was escaping me

then you said please and never mind wondering if i’d do it again we are penciled in next tuesday

relative necessitates will come and go it’s hard to know if bringing back my friend or foe will prove anything new a bottle of ‘let’s do this’ chasing away second hand situations and hand me down emotions we run from home carrying cross stitched sentiments tightly to our hip, shooting off sophomoric quips to gas station attendants spilling our seventy nine cent soda across the counter with painful glares aware of what we are up to in an instant i flip him the bird as we laugh our way through clang ringing doors bumping into middle age misters who were gas filling

emptying half our cup, drink up. let’s carelessly cross our hearts and hope we die while peeling back layers of why i cry through while i examine nothing new in you but a blanket and shoe lost on the trail a breeze that failed. i know how the night will end. hurry up let’s get there.