Stand there say something shift your feet and give me my thing this is not about you i need a figure eight new i need a streaming red sky sell me my next goodbye and tell me i’m not that guy while we ride a new tide to the sunspecks i see let us start to give a fuck if there is ever a better time those words hung in the air you walking to the place where i’m not scared a corner in my mind will you let me be blind building foundations for future destructions somebody help they forgot the instructions it’s now a torture chamber broken barrels that held our goodbye. it’s trite phrases and frayed shoelaces that keep my head down when going through these phases greeting card sentiments i could rehearse them in tenements alone a cost with you thinking i care banging my head on every adjective stare and knowing i’m giving in to this last ditched effort to hear your frost fueled tongue the throat squeeze barely breathing bash to my right eye that tells me you’re there it’s those times i’m alive and you now sway uneasily behind me. i see you in the shattered glass mirror leaning against the wall. you’re still here.

Spider webs gathered in the corner while muffins baked in the oven his raised first seemed to bother mom she almost turned him off, if it wasn’t for the rest of them shuffled in line and doing their jobs. so she thought, she had never been caught and dragged censored and tagged. neither had i. i saw that fist raised like fire fury and popped my little one up to join the roar of people who know the power is in their hands it shouldn’t threaten you it falls into your plan of sorting and distorting common causes when raised up we are all pushing play and getting off our pauses to rage against the lying of the right and stand up to the laying on the left capitulation no more i walk in the door thunder rain to the shore and back east again ping pong the nation it’s played on every station don’t call on me that’s not what i want to make you look inside your own head while typing keys in bed and feel anxiety about pushing send.

fly fixtures flutter with finesse as flutes play bach and i sink in the mist, a haze set dawn with no clothes and a song wishing there was a place i could stare long and lose myself in the taste of your breath, its nothingness. and when you say the thinking is done could my son listen and play along to forgotten tools of yesterday’s waltz a place I know is generations of fault.

i smelled it and brought myself back to treasure chest wishes, responsibilities and dishes a torture chamber he made to reclaim shame and the path he wore to find you there knowing you’re anxiety would only bare a slip in your armor, a chink, a chance, to slice you open, leave you once more, that’s romance. a sacrifice, your death, while violins play. it wasn’t scary. you smiled the whole time. cease to exist to understand this rhyme. i decided to stop observing that blade of grass, climbed a tree, fell asleep fast to wake underneath without reason or care this is for me. shaded by the shadows of you all hanging above the ones who make the masks i’ve come to rely on facades in time don’t peal them off pile them i won, when the mount is complete, i’ll be gone.

It’s easy, she said as her smile stretched to uncomfortable lengths that had me questioning how she found strength, the way she ran her hand through her cluttered hair and chit chit chattered her teeth, a blanket eyed stare. this all disturbed my senses as she swiveled and got up. I couldn’t muster the energy anymore, our time to stretch into one another’s canvass of creation was covered and crossed out, the star eyed concoction we create to get through this cycle the spinning through fractal elements and never ending algebraic sequences, now only doubt. i wasn’t taught this in school, yet the spool was sent spinning when you stepped off that stool and walked down our aisle. we have permission to not have to explain this smile and if you come back this way would you let me in to tempt from within, energy tapping is never a sin.

Tanned hide you better crawl inside and catch every tear cried by drawn scarecrows hustling to work it’s the fields they rescue from buzzards berserk with dried out tongues and torch touching finger tips i thought i lost you inside our blood lust drips that led to the crazed cave where lizards lay i stir with thoughts of jumping out to say i’ll ravage your senses and sensor our dreams hopping cloud high to visit today and you saw me side eye while being whisked away signs that we can’t meet, a plastic statue with a sinister smile is what you become with cautious denial a plum stuck thumb we know existence and deny the trial we’re all guilty traveling by knowing the number to dial. 

Geese honking hailing the sun pulling out their northern forces another summer undone and while we rest in this home tethered by glue i wish for nothing more than another moment to share the sports page, comics and chew on the crossword i miss willis and bonnie sometimes mary lou it was those sweat filled nights no air conditioning generation watching the high v standing in ovation my stedia shoes stunk i had to toss them outside little did i know that’s where your bags would reside as then confusion sunk in on a weatherless fall day it was wishful thinking we’d be ok. at least for the moment. and as a youth i always wondered if i were gay, that’s what sensitive people had in their way instead of embracing the beauty of where i lay when alone in that manger filled with hay.
#2

leave that limp green hanging smile for someone else it doesn’t matter how you embrace shattered thoughts that soar from my mouth as geese fly south honking and shitting on my manicured lawn thinking and blinking they belong they’re transient beings and need to find a home 

they better leave me alone

they’re geese you say

i don’t think that matters

Together they would peer over the edge to see that laughing dragon disguised as a tyrannical sea serpent who couldn’t tell them what day it was yet every time they asked, searching for the truth in something so elemental. my mind a bubble about to bust open from the pressure of all these relationships and maintaining what it means to be a fiend, or is that friend, always up, can we plateau? catch ourselves drifting in the undertow. do you like what you see enough to be content with this? is it me or do i have to constantly be becoming perhaps that is the switch you pulled and to be told if truth is gold i never cared for what you want in this purpose filled castle where you gather with the mice daily making sure we know our lines it’s the expectations and nuance i wish i could understand this isn’t a performance. i don’t have to morph characters the tragedy is far from knowing it’s not greek to me this thing that you see is just a slice of freedom telling you to leave me alone and let the spy signal his own cologne in a german bathroom alone, listening to the tone of broken phone conversations left blank by kid television situations let’s all get this straight i can tug on your coat and silver plate a message it’s something to build can we just live in the top floor and call it good.

we gathered the wood and put it to the left of the fire place like he asked, it wasn’t much of a task, really, he was the one in control of building the box that would be consumed by what brought us out of the trees and i preferred a teepee yet it’s not always up to me. we woke up early the next day and rolled through a mash up mix of manuscripted mountains to make sure we could touch a sanskrit circle with the perfect balance of yellow and purple if your wishes take you down this go round be sure to fold my face, symmetry puts it all in the right place a vase and taste of leftover waste wishing you would acknowledge the place where the lilacs lifted stale cigarette blood from a chair to your phone and the quiet drone that unpleasant tone of beast pounding parades pushing us home get back to the start and hand me my shirt i gotta figure out why there was no warning this morning i’m running late the smoldering burden in front is all that’s left

He walked down sidewalks on the left side

carrying that stupid umbrella, it was his signature piece against the grain sliding in between days a cure for the mundane stroll to get vegetables and an energy drink before retiring to his one bedroom apartment where fantasies lived out with red shut eyes barely stirring until the coughing and movements of early bird neighbors gave way to sunlight. it wasn’t until i broke in one day that i found out about his levi collection and love of ovaltine. i didn’t take anything, just some wonderings why would i care so much. what about him angered me as i slid dogs into buns for tourists and suits. tin foil wrap grip sliding through my greasy dollar transaction hands, steam vents reminding me, i’m alone. when’s his birthday? who loves him? does he see me? who does he caress and undress in his mind when time permits a sensitive topic for him to pit against the pendulum of time we may never meet unless i stop him with my chemical meat and ask him for something that he may not have a moment to answer, the questions of a stranger loving him from a distance. i’m envious of that waltz and the paisley patterns that adorn his glance and if he dances could i lead? a mystery left, there are more corner store brats to feed. 

She only used black pens on crossword puzzles, i watched as she made the precise messy double fold of thursday’s paper filling in with rounded ‘e’ and capital ‘H’ while finding words for beige and tap tap tapping her pen on bent denim knees. she should have worn glasses it would have completed my thoughts and as she got up to leave i noticed a spot, a spilled sign from the bottomless cup a mystery left, but she’s just someone’s friend, a daughter maybe a mother means nothing to me i’m a casual observer of oddities and traits i see the furniture not the crates i reach down and try to pack up i stop frozen by the managers cup he hates me telling you this but they’re all plants secret spies getting jacked up to create a scene for you to fulfill a magazine fantasy wrought with bullshit cigarette smoke and carousel rides there never was a darker time just a rewind button on parking fines nothing can penetrate your americano buzz it was the funnies not your height that brought new characters square into the light if she passed by again you wouldn’t know another person in this skit hopped up on blow a transcended being feeding our senses and she can’t spell or complete sentences it’s blue ink we need to make this official, so get up and leave it’s all just a show.