innocence

from my porch, let the senses guide you

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

– daydreaming at night

spacing out, a blurry eyed sight

cascading images registering hope in this plight

i manufactured emotions so you’d listen

– i lost my hearing

temporary amnesia to the love we’re searing

mismatched emotions we’re fearing

discovered so you’d see

– eyes gouged and left mangled

webs of sinew left tangled

hearts dangled

destroyed so you’d feel

– skin rubbed before dawn

after a feigned angry-morning yawn

i walked across your lawn

so you’d know how i smelled

– pinched nose in a rubber room

cemetery glances, climbing in a tomb

i close the door on impending doom

and licked the casket to see how you taste

– my tongue is red and raw

your lost song strummed, i see and saw

bouncing in rhythm, i start to unthaw

– recognize my ability to see me in you

the future

from my porch, what do you want?

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

if you like this, can you tell me why? for those who enjoy my words, i see you. i give you voices and personalities from a single round picture – letting me know you’re there. our experience are different – our emotions the same. we share a common bond on this undulating plane; in our world created in this outer-space place, zeroes and ones translating a blank face, a virtual place, where we talk to ourselves. not a single voice, no, not alone, a series of our own beings spliced into other beating pieces to this glued and framed puzzle. are we that confined? blinded by the design our future holds?

yah, so i want to know why you choose to read my thoughts. i used to not say i care, in fact, i deceived us that i didn’t.

i do.

from bed, stomach turning and lips puckered

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

code switch

i’m not your office mate, or your first freaked out blind date

i’m not your big-headed-blind-pig-faced boss posting kids trying to floss

shelter me from ‘speak’ tainting and taking up oxygen

you run these phrases trying to disguise

you’re under the gun of countless allies

an illusion

it makes you stand straight when gabby and her friends are waiting at the gate

it’s not locked

they hold no key

you decide whether to stay or flee with crossed eyes and a mother’s plea

stay where you are

the town, the block, the house

we’ll paint the walls

pale blue and yellow

you’ll blend in

until you’re better

i kissed the metal-clasp lock holding your tongue tied to traditional tones that can’t explain the passion that blasts through my bones

a language alone

in a world for us

no need to hush

misinterpretations are flushed

misrepresentations crushed

utterances living alone and echoing off walls we dreamt of changing

before a rosetta stone was carved

and they all knew our thoughts

code switch

make this ours

from bed, checking boxes while watching birds

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

starlings swim in chaotic rhythms forming patterns we can’t predict, though we must protect

air shifts and passes as i glance over and noticed the shaft of light resting on the inner side of your left thigh where charlie horses once landed

in good fun

you were best friends

better than brothers beating one another senseless, or had they let the augers decide who gets to take the first step towards an empire

brutal or spiritual?

who are we

it crashed

the empire

sorry if i ruined the story

rise and fall

like your chest after rolling over from the one you thought you knew

so will you

crash that is

if you put yourself in a position where the potential to reach higher than before is sought, you’ll miss

and die

hopefully catching flight under the tail wind of swirling birds before you die

from the porch, drifting through your apartment

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

i saw the question lines on your face

caution

symptoms of stranded times we can’t erase

or replace

travesties counted on a number line

waiting

disheveled and wet

a mess

coming home

walking in the door umbrella still erect slish slosh shoes mark where you’ve been plopping on a conditioned couch catching the moisture transfer from skin to clothes to cloth to a running nose joining the water logged face drops mixing with salt destined to put you to sleep

you sit

unrequited emotions

love

understood

you struggle off your clinging coat

winter hat removed

leaving knotted hair chaos covering your wrinkled lines lingering with each whimper recognizing loss

it’s over

your eyes close

only to open with shivering arms clutching the only one you have left

you’ll stay here

searching

for answers you understand

but can’t commit to

falling sideways you feel the weight

and fall asleep

from my porch, family stood above all

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

toxic conversations swing wildly around in ill tempered rooms where insecurity wanders wildly diverting our emotions to a response jerked to high knee kick ears closed eyes wide and nothing building in a surprise of where we can’t fathom the possibility that we aren’t able to connect the dots of rhythm leaving your pounding heart realization points filtering away the trust of balcony peering

can i trust you?

you’d have to open wide while i gash flesh and rip intestines from surprised organs hand over hand falling to the floor and you laugh, or cry, at least understand it’s a momentary glimpse into something other than them

the others

i see, sniff, and bite at disingenuously dangled desires designed to deteriorate

everything around them so their tethered tightened whitened and worn out soul can stand above the bloody mess declaring supremacy

i can stop smiling

guilt

from bed, i’ll be your waiting room

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

grab ahold of something more secure than me

lift yourself up and push beyond this pale blond destroyer dream

some things you can’t fix

as the clock ticks

and you can’t afford to waste any more reasons, or time

i’ll be fine, knowing who i am

you’re not the first

i’m a waiting room

uncomfortable and not maintained

inconsolable, temporary, fake fixtures and emotions feigned

a conduit

getting people from there to here and here to there, a rebound echo pulsating through muddy water thoughts in a washed out consciousness

that’s where i’m caught

i chose this

you

it’s an excuse

a position where i’m in control

get out? ha, then i’d have to think, deliver, expose, and shiver in sudden loses of uncontrollable impulses with lovers leaving for what would be another me if i were not he

it’s the easy way out

serving a single purpose

on second thought, come stay awhile

someday you’ll surface

and forget we ever met

from bed, which direction will we go?

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

you can’t see me

as the blood rushes to my head wondering why you just asked us to look further inside the blistering reality that tomorrow’s log books will show the names of every asshole who brandished a weapon that delivered a final silver shell to the temple of a reality that we lost control

there was only one choice

a solution to this poured over problem that plagues every tear drop collecting in chambers where the maids are in control we bow in service to every whim that’s diced up and trimmed for the next go around a sun that shines a bit brighter in our absence

the warming stops

our shivering hearts are store bought and no one kept the receipt

no returns

we can’t go back and release ourselves from travesties we ear marked to remember the drifting thoughts that led us to a doorway where ambushes were normalized and we lost sight of tomorrow’s parades

we would have marched

lock stepped and determined

if only we could see one another

from a chair, inhaling the last of your stare

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

drenched in her tears i stepped into the hallway shared by all the other fourth floor door dwellers stinking of fried chicken, body fetor, and incense

none of which were winning the odor war, an amalgamation of whiffs running wildly through our rooms

all but tuna

tuna sat in the corner waiting for the stench to reach its threshold

then, without hesitation, he’d zoom center stage through draft ways and air vents

nobody welcomed him

he wafted alone through bed sheets and hanging drapes, living in garbage bin tossed tin can creases

festering in mouth corners

absorbed in crumbly crusts left on plates for tomorrow’s cleaning

blasting our senses, giving way to other impressions

biding time

for the next unleashing

resting on your breathe

before the door shut, i turned around and took my final look

sorry for the last time

if i could click my heels i’d be back with her

the her before her, that’s right before you

for years i penetrated the aura swirling around

thinking i could make a new sound pound from the ground you stood on and around

i’ve learned

nothing’s wasted

if we walk away with something

it’s my turn

i’ll dry my shoulders

lift off your weight

make my way down the hall

it’s never too late

to inhale the sweet smell of something new

from a couch, home needs no explanation – the rest does

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

they ruined the peace sign

fingers used to pulsate potential when topsy-turvy times were captured by flash bulbs and plastered on newspapers and life magazine

it died with ‘deuces’

two fingers and a pouty face

signaling their leaving

they already left

or, we didn’t ask them to stay

never explained our common language, shared the significance of our actions

left alone

to figure it out

they’re their own journalists chronically what happens when norms and celebrations, culture and deliberation, past-times and bed-side manners are disregarded

the them are us

previously placed weight on symbols, cultural mores, and rites was bid a goodnight when without wings and mating flight we fight with duck faces

saying good luck as we ‘peace out’

peace is within

without, we are locked screens

no memory of four digit codes and your face won’t be recognized by the past and i can only hope the future doesn’t look like you, like this

it does, it’s now

i’m getting old

reflective

one thing i do know, i don’t want the past

romance is lost

it starts with a conversation

photos held

relevance, reverence and importance placed on people and places who genuinely display who we are

what are we?

stuck

where two fingers hold the key

we can use it together

let me tell you how