from a couch, home needs no explanation – the rest does

they ruined the peace sign

fingers used to pulsate potential when topsy-turvy times were captured by flash bulbs and plastered on newspapers and life magazine

it died with ‘deuces’

two fingers and a pouty face

signaling their leaving

they already left

or, we didn’t ask them to stay

never explained our common language, shared the significance of our actions

left alone

to figure it out

they’re their own journalists chronically what happens when norms and celebrations, culture and deliberation, past-times and bed-side manners are disregarded

the them are us

previously placed weight on symbols, cultural mores, and rites was bid a goodnight when without wings and mating flight we fight with duck faces

saying good luck as we ‘peace out’

peace is within

without, we are locked screens

no memory of four digit codes and your face won’t be recognized by the past and i can only hope the future doesn’t look like you, like this

it does, it’s now

i’m getting old

reflective

one thing i do know, i don’t want the past

romance is lost

it starts with a conversation

photos held

relevance, reverence and importance placed on people and places who genuinely display who we are

what are we?

stuck

where two fingers hold the key

we can use it together

let me tell you how

from a hotel bed, the privilege to consider prestige

leave

thoughts take up daylight clouding my vision and fading the only thing i have to hold onto

but she is lying

i know that

perfectly packaged material arrives everyday strategically shared to paint a picture.

i’m the emotional artist

get out of my studio and save the sales pitch for the finger fuck suit down the hall who sips steady shots of alcohol (he knows them all) and i can’t twist anymore with these images of time left open and the draft that came through only kept me in the know of what travesties you were trying to take back from the waking world reality we all live in

those were my words

the ones you carefully jotted in a notebook for everyone to see

those were my words

the ones i flung out before considering drenched in a tear filled raw exchange of exactly how i was feeling

i feel

you think

throw the fucking last years in with the kitchen sink

here it all comes

how do i get your attention to see the world isn’t planned and pleated, written and deleted

before presentation

my walk is my pitch

i will never switch to save my own face

i could care less what i look like

honesty is ugly

the roots dig deeper and i become immovable

there’s a breeze

i sway

you break

good bye

from a stool, hours early

i’m the drone picking up the phone, listening to thoughts alone, without a deafening end-of-the-road dial tone

give this dog a bone

i’m going home

to encounter memories with drawn on faces

catching up to residual synthetic traces of time left behind

hit the rewind and scroll

i’m going for a stroll with the one i extol for lending an ear to my pulse rising pedantic platitudes piling up to nesting bird’s homes as they ready to relocate with weather’s winds

shifting

i’m staying here

come on in

i’m alone on my couch

catching up with the contoured creases that comfort me as i stare into this rectangular glow

reaching out

pretending you’re all with me

sit close

let’s make this real

temptation will steal away thoughts that make this deal worth taking

grab me

shake these pebble demons from my troubled mind

help me move on

away from you

solitude

from bed, battle drums

stranded somewhere between east and west lines that divide a world only spinning for our comfort

every night she positions herself in a bed designed for two where the fate of another shrew is tamed and told where to whistle contrary tunes that pound through puckered lips parading past arm powered ships setting sail to island fantasies waiting in polluted oceans for us to conquer, or douse in gasoline and set fire

leaving constant reminders of human desires to contemplate death while passing through moon phases predicting the flow of life-stopping blood

bustling between scars left by the constant consideration that somewhere, something, somehow is better than the ticking clock we throw back and forth now bowing to unrequited lovers leaving for another zone to practice their polite panting exercises

let’s stop with the please and thank you’s

and understand

head nods and need are enough

stranded implies i can’t leave

there’s a way out

you

from bed, cat scratch severe

he kept jumping

scratch scratch thwump

scratch scratch thwump

tenacious scratches unnerve my senses causing me to do the one thing i don’t want to

stand up

walk over

and open the door to allow traveling voices to fall down hallways making their way to ears unable to decipher sarcasm and forceful conversations

he scampered to chemical receptacles and liquid filled storage bowls, lapping and looking, ears adjusting to wind pounding echoes on windows suffering a winter storm

we don’t hide

he does

you aren’t sheltered

humans have emotions

we share this

it’s what tethers the strings of differences used to construct facades aiding in the grand effort of divide and conquer

we’ve been taken over

which means

we can take it back

clutch the vestiges of memories drifting gallantly towards another realm where we’ll welcome back the comfort of knowing you’ll see the needs i have to continue raising hands clenched and clasped, breath gasped, and flesh passed

he came back in

curled up on a brown folded blanket

and closed his eyes

i closed the door

and turned the lock

from bed, we’ll rise to their surprise

stand still

look around

focus on where the measure of a human is found

resting in dew drops dripping through fall leaf furls, cascading over ripples, rolling from red to yellow, finally forming a single tear

fall

pool

absorbed

soaked into story telling soil, spreading and climbing up spindly dendrites sucking to stay alive, splitting paths to where the needs reside

cycles

the rain stopped yesterday, dry air deadened our breath

we had enough to sustain

for a few hours

until we fell on crackling brown leaves lifting powder black dust passionately puffed into plumes signaling our demise

the formation and rise of a phoenix bringing rain

a chance to love again

from bed, sleep won’t come so easy

clock click bang

click clock bang

these are the words they sang

silver shells blast through pain-hell halls we create while zombie emotions learn to tell the tales of our fails

heads and tails

loser at every flip

bang

through the head they rang

bang

well rehearsed responses

‘we’ll pull together. we’re -blank- strong’

wrong

that song

roots you assholes

roots of the cause

these bloody symptoms

pills keep popping pushing away pain

diseases keep spreading

i can’t feel it

i only respond

stop

i looked at those faces today

i do every day

eyes

sitting, searching, nodding

they know

they can’t count on us

if we’re not there

talk, share, define they’re grief!

they don’t ‘just know’

we have to pass this thing down

campfires and kitchen tables used to illuminate our faces, not rectangle spaces

they know

no ‘they’ don’t

open your fucking mouth

from bed, go back to then

“…a tree falling…”

i couldn’t hear the last part

creative cashing-in

beveled blades that transfer wealth

i crept beside her

listening to the steam rise from forest floors

casual benefits

blithering

shrugged silence

broken trials

treaties

denials

retreating

we couldn’t keep up

halted

still life

left listless in language-less hallways

advances

echoing dance steps stranded in anxieties alien shoes

technology

bring me back home

under her draped past

arms that welcomed

a few million

others came under her dress

around a breast

out of reach

couldn’t spare her breath

pass a test

one in four

chances

they watched you erect her

defilement

i’ll believe you when you say it happened

i can’t hear their words

if i’m not in the room

from bed, ready for it

reveal those parts that others relate to and relish in the reaction that we are all revolving around the same renegade revelations that connect our retail rate emotions simmering in caldrons of disjointed sustenance ensuring we are all fed before bed distanced from dread calculating new measures of what it takes to open our eyes when mornings draw open our shades

we know the new dawn will bring us to understanding the ticking of time created by a mime who acts out the sunshine spreading its wings to open mist fields of starlings feeding and catching wind

flocking in sequence

taking turns with no sense

what it means to be alone

we can imitate

climb out of fear fate

feel the feather’s beat in rhythms meant to join us once again to common goals.

from bed, regrets disregarded

Contemplating confused states of misunderstanding when i should keep my mouth closed and let you lead the way

it’s not easy

standing by

shuffling states of being in hopes of drawing the trump card we can all use to hit our target number of tricks

dialed in without knowing what one another wants

needs

the author of this confrontation bleeds

as we hop over her limp blue body denying deaths drumbeat. the dum dum sish boom bahs of our rhythmless foot steps marching to bodies of water waiting for our crownless souls to dip in and become a part of losing control

featherless flyers

filtering out the pieces of mystery to stay sane on a spinning orb of indecision and deception

i can’t claim i wasn’t there

you saw me

huddled in a corner

wishing i hadn’t stated my purpose

now you know

i couldn’t join you

even when i grabbed tight and kept you tethered to past triumphs that have become meaningless

i’ll let you go

if you promise to visit the stone remains that prove our time spent together