death

from bed, do you know?

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

you couldn’t give me a straight answer

i stuck around chain smoking cigarettes, crushing butts into metal ashtrays marking the movement of time

leaving me with a fitful night sleep and stained fingers

wishing i had found another way to slow your goodbyes to a drawn out stutter that i could complete for you

g.g.goo.goo.g.good.da.da.da…

DAY

your greeting with a grimace-frustrated face had you give up on trying to erase the words i inserted to keep you close

i never wanted to watch you disintegrate into a pool of leftover thoughts

waiting for me to grab a mop and wring out your memory into water muddied by wishful questions

that we’ll never move on from

from a couch, speak to me

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

stand and deliver the sermon you were sent to serenade us with on a mountain built to rise above the pathetic-life platitudes that dribbled from hedge-fund hoes betting for a secure future full of uncertainty to those they pretend to protect

raise your voice over the echoes from the valley below full of window dressed men with barbed wire mouths hoping to take another step towards sisyphus’s demise

i’d find comfort pushing senseless stones endlessly in an effort to drive out those needing the next thing

i found a rhythm with my broom, sweeping streets littered with lost souls seeking sunrise in paper bags and garbled thoughts

who am i to declare anything

the thought alone gives weight to a world crushing Atlas, without a map we lose our way home

where will we go?

your words cease when understanding is drowned in the ocean you slipped into while realizing, no one was listening

from bed, unlike the others

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

plucked, still shivering from the shock

gently observed, now dropped

slaloming through subtle air currents

resting on imitations

feet shuffling through fields filled with fear

shift the pile of clones

creating a new order, without emotion

as shades are slowly drawn on day

from the porch, the stars at night are big and bright

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

put them on display like marie o’day

a traveling freak show of our forever frozen-in-fear children’s bodies captured behind glass

we’ll pay our quarter and gasp

will we find the answer?

as they continue to be riddled by bullets from the sphinx’s arms, can they enter our institutions without having to guess who is on all fours and who walks down hallways holding an end to their innocence, not lost, taken, never to be regained?

one last wrinkle from the protector of Thebes tongue, ‘he slithers on his belly after lunch’

these displays are not an anomaly

nothing to stare at stupefied

they’re genetically modified like the rest of us

a mirror in her casket would prove to be interchangeable

next to the werewolf man, just as believable

our fears

in arranged viewing areas for us to examine

school buildings charging admission for us to safely discover what keeps us up at night when our imaginations are made tangible, agreed upon breeding grounds left to their own devices

desires to smash mores established for greed, desires for their moms to fulfill their needs

and dad’s to stand up, before another one bleeds

and joins the circus

from the porch, i forgot how

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

a part of it is, i don’t remember

i can’t trace the sequence of dance steps that led us to this disillusioned state staring at statues that led us to this place of deserted rhythms

the loss of a heartbeat

still life seeking solitude when up against fates knife

slit

distancing ourselves from reconciliation

worries dissipate

sorrows meditate

the taste of your breathe finding a way to my memories

it’s over now, the present straddles dawn break, and leaves wonder in its wake

this i’ll take

and forget how i got here

from bed, our last supper

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

leftover chicken for dinner

i knew how much i was cooking

what i could eat

it wasn’t left over

there was no one in the seat across from me

i chased you away with worries, monsters concocted during day light dreams

nightmares

suppositions

blank stares

bacon consistency never remembered

what size of spoon you use, for cereal and ice cream

i stopped guessing and brought both

or, sometimes, i left the drawer open and said ‘in here’

you got the hint

i regretted dropping it, shattering silence with a clang, as your uncles’s gift forks fell to the floor, your final sigh closing the door, i looked around

finally

free to explore

what to listen for

when the neighbors stop arguing

from a chair, distance from disaster

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

you stuck the wooden mallet down my throat and began churning out helpless emotions i stuffed deep years ago to dispel the myth that i am predetermined to your sink-disposal life they threw everything into before you ran away

i’m ok

it made me gag a little

i can taste the past

visions will never last

i bleached my eyeballs

knowing i had to keep moving

my sentences full of your pronouns

i forgot how to say her name

digesting symbols of those who came before the blame

it was them

jesus and the gang

names, like animal emotions

only for us

humans

i gurgled visions of father figure fuck over from a forged outcome past and spat hard on rocks as i kept walking

you’re behind me

motionless

the handle hangs out of your bludgeoned head

eyes resting

red

unfed

dead

from bed, we need to finish

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

cross bars form a place for pain

windows i toss my mind out to join the wind blown rain

draining my saturated soul once weighed down by self-doubt

i used to play a roll with every bystander who was waiting for me to release the chemical smells flourishing under my breath where secrets lived, developing fork tongues for the unleashing of private conversations

we’re here

out in the open

gazing through glass that shatters when stones were gathered and thrown by your wicked time ticking tone

from bed, dangling before you

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

knots tie themselves with the rope i swallowed

eating it seemed a better option

a limp lasso left resting in your hands would have given us a chance, we could’ve summons two strangers to swing our string in elliptical patterns while we jump in tandem heart beats

who’ll trip first?

when one goes

so does the other

we’re no different

sell me another story

one without glory

a riveting wrangling of words written to loosen the stitches holding me together

oozing sinewy strands i pick up

three hitches, better than a hangman’s

tether it to something

don’t leave me dangling with this doubt

i love you

from a porch, rain brought your memory

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

frail fingers fondled my daughter’s mop head prior to falling limp and lifeless hanging over hospital rails

passing on

releasing the touch of generations before, a push for resolute goals we shared in times of triumph when flags were raised

i can remember the way you tried to make me feel famous with homemade videos and designer jeans i couldn’t squeeze into, sugar and butter combinations continually streamed through your home

a mint rolling in your mouth, as drool slid down a double rolled chin, whiskers catching sunlight, i questioned your sin

was it leaving grandpa?

now, you’ve left us

not a single choice, yet you chose to live that way, running scared and strong, defensive with a will to belong

she’ll remember that touch

the stories i recreate

you’ve become the myth you always sought