from a chair, distance from disaster

you stuck the wooden mallet down my throat and began churning out helpless emotions i stuffed deep years ago to dispel the myth that i am predetermined to your sink-disposal life they threw everything into before you ran away

i’m ok

it made me gag a little

i can taste the past

visions will never last

i bleached my eyeballs

knowing i had to keep moving

my sentences full of your pronouns

i forgot how to say her name

digesting symbols of those who came before the blame

it was them

jesus and the gang

names, like animal emotions

only for us

humans

i gurgled visions of father figure fuck over from a forged outcome past and spat hard on rocks as i kept walking

you’re behind me

motionless

the handle hangs out of your bludgeoned head

eyes resting

red

unfed

dead

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