the restaurant didn’t make sense to her. crafting your own meal, waking to the counter, paying, walking herself out? 

she could have stayed home

yet moving among people with window shade eyes a compromise of time and rhythm and rhyme it’s then when the mystery unraveled itself a half full mustard on the top pantry shelf seeds to sew when she has the time it’s never not now that she’ll finally unwind without a glimpse at the bottom of the bottle that kept her in line and gave rise to a guy and eyes so sunken

they saw 

packing alone to head to the next stop where the bags will drop, synapses pop a single dragon wrestling to the top it’s coiled body shivering trying to shake the threat of desire. cold shower saturdays don’t stand a chance, keep feeding the dance with your pleading glance. faces never seen, elderly to teen, every human will let you use them in-between. then your back in line, mustard on rye, alone in the park. 

i laughed while dipping the ladle in my luggage of language today thinking of all the ways to say i can’t help but want to shove you off the side of a mountain and worship the other ones who are more enticing than the zebras you brought my way with their galloped faces, and worn out tread. i hopped on hoping to hear something different this time a reason to stretch before i try. walking by. drifting without a need to sigh before i die, you didn’t have to lie. it’ll happen you know. that final blow. so don’t forget. we danced together once without worrying what they saw and dipped our toes in what were still waters, glowing orbs above looking into saucers, taking off and joining that place perfectly positioned power pulling our paths this time our parents didn’t need to know, the glow, rub of the toe, it’s time to go. just when i knew what was getting into you we had obligations that seemingly grew. stay tethered, though at times we may tremble, jump off and reassemble.

fresh faces fall before me cuddled in the halls and the feeding frenzy needs no introduction they know the response and the calls their eyes reading the display on screens since birth the rituals acted out now it’s rehearsed this isn’t new or somehow them it’s a portrayal val kilmer as morrison who do you play and what to do the select few who don’t anticipate the next line and wade in the waters of time tested aggregates washing the stems leaving the rest for maggots where do you hang before the bell tolls in the summer splashes with gifts and moles or above the mire dripping with desire it’s you i must stop and inquire how does it feel always singing with the choir cause tacks in the road left you tired and flat alone whispering to the leaders and feeders who used leeches as bleeders quarters fill your pockets make sure to fill the meters and wash your hands on this first day of school can’t wait to listen to tales from the pool.

he wouldn’t get off the steps that day slumped and grey watching the way people walked by and politely said ‘hey’ was it Thursday? that was of little consequence he needed those interactions he created without saying a word. it’s symmetry he thought two perfectly set halves left in balance frozen in forever freight or thawed out love he didn’t appear hostile he wasn’t seen he didn’t make himself known everyone that walked by though could signal his cologne a standard act in their daily parade 
come tell me why i should dance again the tempo is never right and i can’t understand the left then right or is it right then right and left again i come back to boyhood violence win codes for infinity and fire spray automatics two dimensional spaced out blood baths kept hypnotic mom poured the tang as we forgot about the bang, munching mentos, combos, and touching no one. i thought about girls once or twice it was too late before they all just thought i was nice let’s see slow motion steps to the ceiling and dance on the moon by the time you touch my heart it will be too soon 

elephant eyes eating the public and taking the geese by surprise as they head south casting an end to the summer of surprise, blown before the candles were even lit this year they’re stepping their way through the human made lines and monuments with their continuous line of shit, wings have been clipped and we’ve all been ripped off by this migratory wonder being left to the land and butterflies died out long ago a monarch and jewel something to fuel the history of generations past the era is here i became a vegan after they wasted away the last steer, crabs engulfing the shores cars swerve out of habit yet they dropped through that secret trap door. our pathways and pursuits paved over, our adaptive nature left wondering where the signs are to tell us where to go we thought we’d know by now how to bow with respect and the nature of things is all we can quip as signs of seasons switching are in decline, we spend more time waiting in line for directions through this tumultuous decline. the geese. don’t blame them. create the climate for us all to share in the natural high “v”, get on and ride that morphed donkey.

keeping my eyes half split they’re filling with water my mouth needs spit this damn cat won’t quit purring, pawing, kneading, NIP it’s then i “oh dude why you do that” he bites my hands while wrangling his wiggles. he “falls” to the floor. i act surprised. rolling over. round two i feel the pressure change as he pounces the lumps at the lower end of my limbs ping pong pushes he’s one step ahead. i’m really not ready to get out of bed this heart beating alarm grows in intensity forcing away the thoughts of the days destiny i must live in this moment fight or concede. don’t you see her sleeping over there? oh, you want food? not me. could you have just said something. this language of yours locked in licks a morning ritual i’d rather listen to the forceful ticks leading up to my lunge from this world of slumber – ugh – time to get up. 

family tries to deny the lies carried inside where the pain could be lifted if you didn’t let them reside but we clench and hold so tight and dear to a fading feeling fostered by fear the taste that fills a hand full of tears and the left over child looking in the mirror, edges torn out from diary books, time never taken and words mistook a garish glance carried by your day and your backpack full of everyone’s course in this meal of where you stay, you were forced to sit and eat. don’t get up finish your fucking meat, sit straight and widen your feet now get up lay down spread out don’t dare frown there are cameras rolling my darling this is your time to shine represent lemon and lime a tart my dear let’s come over here. know who the elders are and always the fear of allowing that blood to define you.

wizard lips with dragon hips my bones get bigger and i start to slip into that place where you once dwelled a shallow hole of a hunting ground where we first messed around a touch to know insecurities were known it’s then we left carried by the moan. they listened and didn’t believe we had more than dirt soiled souls and worn out sleeves. it was the relaxation that showed on our face that made those statues feel so out of place and race car dummies sitting neatly at dinner couldn’t figure out our grins and why when we chewed the residual bits before leaving this plain we closed our eyes staring at one another and never felt blame. 

celebrated your seventh birthday today without any presents we sat idly by while wishing the well wouldn’t have come up dry i think about you often sitting in that rocking chair withering, carrots dripping off your chin and where do i begin to live again and there was no misunderstanding in the words you said that microphone bled we were left with no choice but  to burn it in effigy after you strutted to your grieving room where everyone applauded the anchor you attached to another apathetic generation left buying your styles with wide tails and shrunken noses please let me just love again as easy when my sister was begging for that piece of the pie and tin is malleable there are bishops with salvageable sails setting out to have that sinister stance on decades of ten by ten rooms marked with teenagers names it’s all the way we cast that bait, let it sit, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, i’m feeling guilt for forgetting your sixth. 

the itch started at my neck

i wasn’t quite able to resist the temptation

claw marks raw 

drawing eyes

it’s then i noticed it on my thighs

it’s not easy satiating that need

at the pool 

it’s starting to bleed

i had to go home

my feet 

now it’s my feet

changing lanes, racing cars, finger edging out my shoe, i bent too far, my eyes lost the road

i hopped a curb

into a light

i’m finally scratched

good night.