stream of consciousness

from my porch, coyotes howl

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

i’ll walk next to you

not so fast

i need to make sure my shoes are tied, my caps on straight, and align the strings on my hoodie before i make a break to join you on this tromps through back-alleyways and caverns created and tested by few who were willing to take a risk

escalating our senses to the uncomfortable point of understanding we won’t ever get there

where?

“but how much loooonger?”

there is no long

you’re there

keep walking doesn’t seem to register with those still stuck at the starting line, striding in place

a treadmill race

wondering why the gun shots echoed, smoked, and left our senses

i saw the proof

they waited

we circled them

lapping

without a place to claim or win to regain the slave shoveled medal designed to remind us we’re still wandering, working, developing

stop talking

how can we be anything but equal?

when we’re nothing

not nothing without a ‘thing’

nothing with everything

waiting to be recognized will only leave you guessing

nowhere now

unrecognizable

my feelings vanish

dreams escape

electric pulses now form our shape

free

from bed, straining

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

wondering what i have left

rhythm falters

i think too much

about what the words display while

i fade away into a couch that held more memories than forgotten times

wishing we were blind to the next step

pressing into the sand

wanting desperately to lift my feet

struggling for another beat

heart flexes

temptation splinters my mind as i lunge towards desires

abandoning stability

undressing your ability

rubbing silently

clamoring for the next line

to give you something

good night

from bed, i’m hungry

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

too tired to relate anymore

i find myself closing the utensil drawer and wishing we never combined our unmatched forks

we still

eat every night

together

you know i use a small spoon for ice cream

a large one for cereal

knives stay put, only used as decoys for visitors wishing they never came to the last house on the left, right and ready for an unarmed theft robbing me of the unforeseen heft of hearts that fill and slowly leak onto plates decorated with mountain peaks and swooping birds, blue on white

a swallowed moon making darkness might

blood drips and pools

suffered a fool

once before

never more

our glasses collect the falling core

a meal for one

i cross my legs

and dig in

from bed, waiting by the phone

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

a formation of words developed from an ancient sequence of symbols used to make sense of utterances that slide out of mouths with a measured degree of certainty all resting on the belief

that we matter

that the individual exists

a pulsating whole, ebbing and flowing through all encompassing envelope folds drowning the highs and lows, drawing us out further, the undertows, eddies swirling us down and back above the rows of chairs that they sit in and judge

ourselves

behind benches and carefully dug trenches while lifting the relevance of robes worn for decorum’s dreams

donning fabric changes who you are, what we believe

so, tare off your masks

dance

howl noise that can’t be recorded

and find new ways to say hello

to the parts of you

making one

from bed, we’ll rise to their surprise

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

stand still

look around

focus on where the measure of a human is found

resting in dew drops dripping through fall leaf furls, cascading over ripples, rolling from red to yellow, finally forming a single tear

fall

pool

absorbed

soaked into story telling soil, spreading and climbing up spindly dendrites sucking to stay alive, splitting paths to where the needs reside

cycles

the rain stopped yesterday, dry air deadened our breath

we had enough to sustain

for a few hours

until we fell on crackling brown leaves lifting powder black dust passionately puffed into plumes signaling our demise

the formation and rise of a phoenix bringing rain

a chance to love again

from bed, we’re not acting

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

when the torture of today’s truth is realized, recognized, and surrounded by sensible steps forward, we can march to principles based on a common cause and find a way out of this collection of clues troubling our thoughts as we stir in dark rooms

squeezing severed with reality eyelids trying to sleep for an hour, maybe more

then their voices crash in, rising and falling, bouncing and walking, screaming and mocking, crying and stalking

our calm that came when running hallways of blame

now lost

laying alone

my consciousness switches to my pounding-hammer parts responding to the sounds you use when trying to be seen

the sounds

echo

a final statement set with treacherous tones

i’m not alone

you come with me

when i lay at night trying to find peace

for all of us

inside these senses reflecting

impact

from a chair, almost there

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

i couldn’t comprehend the chants as the ground started to swell

twisted satire leading the way

a fantasy display to detail the tale of this five act play in a rented out band shell drifting towards the slow decline

draining the last drop

to please sadistic pleas

wading in the rising sea

feet finding a safe path leading, beaten

it’s lonely at the top

push out

push away

falling all around

wires touch between my hands

i’m in control

from a plane, the flight attendant didn’t know i knew her story

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

nervous smiles were quick to exchange between deranged thoughts she was taught to rearrange through black cat-eye glasses and red lipstick, luck is lost when she walks by

ask the love that was suppose to survive

vows vanished

she kept the candle

lit once

for all to see

before eternities sea rose and dampened the flame, a single wish never blown

just chances, set them free

unfortunately

she loved the pinch of handcuffs

i met her today, ironic-squints passed through scratched lenses as she pulled a yellow lifeless vest over sprayed straight hair and taught us to float

if we should fall from the air

what to pull, who’s responsible, face masks, make sure you can breath…

before you confront emergencies

her eyes fake scanned feigned-attention faces that won’t follow the plan

her plan?

she popped a mint and sat down

the captain has twine and a lighter

her hands are clean and free

landing safely

she wished us a good stay

there’s two ends to every candle

from bed, quick draw

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

i never saw it the same way

twisted, muted, the land of gray

it wasn’t as if i knew her name

while walking the lane

where soggy wallet spinsters play steel-faced, quickly turning away

it was my time to walk alone with gusty gutsy ‘i love you’ guarded tones flipping and flying from our demise, my mouth

i kept pushing the pace against street cars lined in parade positions

a child heart glistens with nothing left to give but dirty water flushing, asteroid signs

never respecting the unicorn kind that trounce around on casket clouds

while wearing a shroud of blisters and boils

you should have won

from bed, sleep won’t come so easy

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

clock click bang

click clock bang

these are the words they sang

silver shells blast through pain-hell halls we create while zombie emotions learn to tell the tales of our fails

heads and tails

loser at every flip

bang

through the head they rang

bang

well rehearsed responses

‘we’ll pull together. we’re -blank- strong’

wrong

that song

roots you assholes

roots of the cause

these bloody symptoms

pills keep popping pushing away pain

diseases keep spreading

i can’t feel it

i only respond

stop

i looked at those faces today

i do every day

eyes

sitting, searching, nodding

they know

they can’t count on us

if we’re not there

talk, share, define they’re grief!

they don’t ‘just know’

we have to pass this thing down

campfires and kitchen tables used to illuminate our faces, not rectangle spaces

they know

no ‘they’ don’t

open your fucking mouth