read

from a couch, blinking

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

try

say something else

we have to

retell the stories, erase the fact that there are facts

only perspectives

unraveled concepts

con-men with biceps

pounding their chests

i hear the echo

trapped in your lungs

shout

scream the song of comfortable doubt

sing, of whys and how’s

not when’s and where’s

let this tune be trumpeted by trusted truth-tellers tempting us to triumphantly overcome this cyclical torture

breaking free

to destroy the enemy

dying free

once again finding we

releasing the me

from this human debris

from the porch, no need for a jacket

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

excuse shame

nothing left to explain

emotions overrun

everything is ok

except

it’s not

we need to tighten formalities so recently agreed upon abnormalities don’t succumb to the lazy-life norm

acceptance of everything born

indecision and complacency that won’t keep us warm

you fucked up

it was your fault

we needed wood, you got lost

reliance lost

someone else will do it

you’re free to go

replaceable

i’ll argue that claim

someone else may step-up, accept the blame, yet dynamics established through esteem while walking in day-work dreams may appear replicable, natural selection, the last insurrection to the idea that we are all one

they’re not, replicable

now we agree

though different facades distinguish you from me and we need each piece to satisfy the whole, ferreting out the mole from the hole of white-guided by sight souls trying to discover what it means to be human

the toll

i sit at night and contemplate

our disastrous fate

that doesn’t have to be

interactions

the game we play

to find who is the border and who gets to sway in the middle of this puzzle finding one another, loosening the muzzle

speaking freely

this is where i find peace

the same way your reflection gives you away, staring alone with an erection

the mirror is two way

we see you

thinking you can satisfy yourself

while we know it’s one another

erasing excuses

learning

building

becoming a fault, one we can fill

after we instill

the beauty gazed upon

created

if we don’t get distracted by what’s on the sill

from the porch, figuring out where things should go

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

organized thoughts demand order

you sought to destroy

i ran away from programming the syllables that bounced from my mouth and relied on intuition to avoid the faults forgetting that you had a perfect plan

i stampeded through your home breaking everything known to hold the mystery of where our love had flown with bumble bee rhythm getting further from the holy hymn that we hummed harmoniously to fall asleep

i can’t sort this one out

chasing away scurrying doubt

as i dance about the perpendicular lines of our love

from bed, i miss your light

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

it’s not the skipping of rocks gliding and plopping into a lake too cold to swim in that brought me here

shivering in a vest i never wear

it’s yours

it’s not the drive through green thistle conifers hugging our travels that brought me here

gazing out the window past emotions filling the glove box

those are yours

it’s not the musty poof from the couch i drop on, sitting in a unlit room waiting for you to bring in our bags that brought me here

that’s your job

it’s not the shifting in a twin bed, creaking as i stir, wanting to spoon out the cure that brought me here

those nights are rehearsed

it’s not the sandwich lunches, served dinners, or bacon and eggs that brought me here

i usually eat alone

it’s not the late nights sitting with flames losing myself in sparks dancing on stick tip games that brought me here

you stoked the fire

it’s not you

grade school, high school too, claims

it’s me

i wanted to discuss my attire, shift in the seat, lie on your love seat, roll on our mattress, wake and sustain life to see you glow across the cylindrical container where humans first realized

everything is illuminated

from a chair, inhaling the last of your stare

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

drenched in her tears i stepped into the hallway shared by all the other fourth floor door dwellers stinking of fried chicken, body fetor, and incense

none of which were winning the odor war, an amalgamation of whiffs running wildly through our rooms

all but tuna

tuna sat in the corner waiting for the stench to reach its threshold

then, without hesitation, he’d zoom center stage through draft ways and air vents

nobody welcomed him

he wafted alone through bed sheets and hanging drapes, living in garbage bin tossed tin can creases

festering in mouth corners

absorbed in crumbly crusts left on plates for tomorrow’s cleaning

blasting our senses, giving way to other impressions

biding time

for the next unleashing

resting on your breathe

before the door shut, i turned around and took my final look

sorry for the last time

if i could click my heels i’d be back with her

the her before her, that’s right before you

for years i penetrated the aura swirling around

thinking i could make a new sound pound from the ground you stood on and around

i’ve learned

nothing’s wasted

if we walk away with something

it’s my turn

i’ll dry my shoulders

lift off your weight

make my way down the hall

it’s never too late

to inhale the sweet smell of something new

from a hotel bed, the privilege to consider prestige

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

leave

thoughts take up daylight clouding my vision and fading the only thing i have to hold onto

but she is lying

i know that

perfectly packaged material arrives everyday strategically shared to paint a picture.

i’m the emotional artist

get out of my studio and save the sales pitch for the finger fuck suit down the hall who sips steady shots of alcohol (he knows them all) and i can’t twist anymore with these images of time left open and the draft that came through only kept me in the know of what travesties you were trying to take back from the waking world reality we all live in

those were my words

the ones you carefully jotted in a notebook for everyone to see

those were my words

the ones i flung out before considering drenched in a tear filled raw exchange of exactly how i was feeling

i feel

you think

throw the fucking last years in with the kitchen sink

here it all comes

how do i get your attention to see the world isn’t planned and pleated, written and deleted

before presentation

my walk is my pitch

i will never switch to save my own face

i could care less what i look like

honesty is ugly

the roots dig deeper and i become immovable

there’s a breeze

i sway

you break

good bye

from a stool, hours early

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

i’m the drone picking up the phone, listening to thoughts alone, without a deafening end-of-the-road dial tone

give this dog a bone

i’m going home

to encounter memories with drawn on faces

catching up to residual synthetic traces of time left behind

hit the rewind and scroll

i’m going for a stroll with the one i extol for lending an ear to my pulse rising pedantic platitudes piling up to nesting bird’s homes as they ready to relocate with weather’s winds

shifting

i’m staying here

come on in

i’m alone on my couch

catching up with the contoured creases that comfort me as i stare into this rectangular glow

reaching out

pretending you’re all with me

sit close

let’s make this real

temptation will steal away thoughts that make this deal worth taking

grab me

shake these pebble demons from my troubled mind

help me move on

away from you

solitude

from bed, battle drums

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

stranded somewhere between east and west lines that divide a world only spinning for our comfort

every night she positions herself in a bed designed for two where the fate of another shrew is tamed and told where to whistle contrary tunes that pound through puckered lips parading past arm powered ships setting sail to island fantasies waiting in polluted oceans for us to conquer, or douse in gasoline and set fire

leaving constant reminders of human desires to contemplate death while passing through moon phases predicting the flow of life-stopping blood

bustling between scars left by the constant consideration that somewhere, something, somehow is better than the ticking clock we throw back and forth now bowing to unrequited lovers leaving for another zone to practice their polite panting exercises

let’s stop with the please and thank you’s

and understand

head nods and need are enough

stranded implies i can’t leave

there’s a way out

you

from bed, we’ll rise to their surprise

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

stand still

look around

focus on where the measure of a human is found

resting in dew drops dripping through fall leaf furls, cascading over ripples, rolling from red to yellow, finally forming a single tear

fall

pool

absorbed

soaked into story telling soil, spreading and climbing up spindly dendrites sucking to stay alive, splitting paths to where the needs reside

cycles

the rain stopped yesterday, dry air deadened our breath

we had enough to sustain

for a few hours

until we fell on crackling brown leaves lifting powder black dust passionately puffed into plumes signaling our demise

the formation and rise of a phoenix bringing rain

a chance to love again

from bed, go back to then

Posted on by andrewsmeyer

“…a tree falling…”

i couldn’t hear the last part

creative cashing-in

beveled blades that transfer wealth

i crept beside her

listening to the steam rise from forest floors

casual benefits

blithering

shrugged silence

broken trials

treaties

denials

retreating

we couldn’t keep up

halted

still life

left listless in language-less hallways

advances

echoing dance steps stranded in anxieties alien shoes

technology

bring me back home

under her draped past

arms that welcomed

a few million

others came under her dress

around a breast

out of reach

couldn’t spare her breath

pass a test

one in four

chances

they watched you erect her

defilement

i’ll believe you when you say it happened

i can’t hear their words

if i’m not in the room