wondering what i have left
rhythm falters
i think too much
about what the words display while
i fade away into a couch that held more memories than forgotten times
wishing we were blind to the next step
pressing into the sand
wanting desperately to lift my feet
struggling for another beat
heart flexes
temptation splinters my mind as i lunge towards desires
abandoning stability
undressing your ability
rubbing silently
clamoring for the next line
to give you something
good night
too tired to relate anymore
i find myself closing the utensil drawer and wishing we never combined our unmatched forks
we still
eat every night
together
you know i use a small spoon for ice cream
a large one for cereal
knives stay put, only used as decoys for visitors wishing they never came to the last house on the left, right and ready for an unarmed theft robbing me of the unforeseen heft of hearts that fill and slowly leak onto plates decorated with mountain peaks and swooping birds, blue on white
a swallowed moon making darkness might
blood drips and pools
suffered a fool
once before
never more
our glasses collect the falling core
a meal for one
i cross my legs
and dig in
a formation of words developed from an ancient sequence of symbols used to make sense of utterances that slide out of mouths with a measured degree of certainty all resting on the belief
that we matter
that the individual exists
a pulsating whole, ebbing and flowing through all encompassing envelope folds drowning the highs and lows, drawing us out further, the undertows, eddies swirling us down and back above the rows of chairs that they sit in and judge
ourselves
behind benches and carefully dug trenches while lifting the relevance of robes worn for decorum’s dreams
donning fabric changes who you are, what we believe
so, tare off your masks
dance
howl noise that can’t be recorded
and find new ways to say hello
to the parts of you
making one
stand still
look around
focus on where the measure of a human is found
resting in dew drops dripping through fall leaf furls, cascading over ripples, rolling from red to yellow, finally forming a single tear
fall
pool
absorbed
soaked into story telling soil, spreading and climbing up spindly dendrites sucking to stay alive, splitting paths to where the needs reside
cycles
the rain stopped yesterday, dry air deadened our breath
we had enough to sustain
for a few hours
until we fell on crackling brown leaves lifting powder black dust passionately puffed into plumes signaling our demise
the formation and rise of a phoenix bringing rain
a chance to love again
when the torture of today’s truth is realized, recognized, and surrounded by sensible steps forward, we can march to principles based on a common cause and find a way out of this collection of clues troubling our thoughts as we stir in dark rooms
squeezing severed with reality eyelids trying to sleep for an hour, maybe more
then their voices crash in, rising and falling, bouncing and walking, screaming and mocking, crying and stalking
our calm that came when running hallways of blame
now lost
laying alone
my consciousness switches to my pounding-hammer parts responding to the sounds you use when trying to be seen
the sounds
echo
a final statement set with treacherous tones
i’m not alone
you come with me
when i lay at night trying to find peace
for all of us
inside these senses reflecting
impact
i couldn’t comprehend the chants as the ground started to swell
twisted satire leading the way
a fantasy display to detail the tale of this five act play in a rented out band shell drifting towards the slow decline
draining the last drop
to please sadistic pleas
wading in the rising sea
feet finding a safe path leading, beaten
it’s lonely at the top
push out
push away
falling all around
wires touch between my hands
i’m in control
nervous smiles were quick to exchange between deranged thoughts she was taught to rearrange through black cat-eye glasses and red lipstick, luck is lost when she walks by
ask the love that was suppose to survive
vows vanished
she kept the candle
lit once
for all to see
before eternities sea rose and dampened the flame, a single wish never blown
just chances, set them free
unfortunately
she loved the pinch of handcuffs
i met her today, ironic-squints passed through scratched lenses as she pulled a yellow lifeless vest over sprayed straight hair and taught us to float
if we should fall from the air
what to pull, who’s responsible, face masks, make sure you can breath…
before you confront emergencies
her eyes fake scanned feigned-attention faces that won’t follow the plan
her plan?
she popped a mint and sat down
the captain has twine and a lighter
her hands are clean and free
landing safely
she wished us a good stay
there’s two ends to every candle
clock click bang
click clock bang
these are the words they sang
silver shells blast through pain-hell halls we create while zombie emotions learn to tell the tales of our fails
heads and tails
loser at every flip
bang
through the head they rang
bang
well rehearsed responses
‘we’ll pull together. we’re -blank- strong’
wrong
that song
roots you assholes
roots of the cause
these bloody symptoms
pills keep popping pushing away pain
diseases keep spreading
i can’t feel it
i only respond
stop
i looked at those faces today
i do every day
eyes
sitting, searching, nodding
they know
they can’t count on us
if we’re not there
talk, share, define they’re grief!
they don’t ‘just know’
we have to pass this thing down
campfires and kitchen tables used to illuminate our faces, not rectangle spaces
they know
no ‘they’ don’t
open your fucking mouth
“…a tree falling…”
i couldn’t hear the last part
creative cashing-in
beveled blades that transfer wealth
i crept beside her
listening to the steam rise from forest floors
casual benefits
blithering
shrugged silence
broken trials
treaties
denials
retreating
we couldn’t keep up
halted
still life
left listless in language-less hallways
advances
echoing dance steps stranded in anxieties alien shoes
technology
bring me back home
under her draped past
arms that welcomed
a few million
others came under her dress
around a breast
out of reach
couldn’t spare her breath
pass a test
one in four
chances
they watched you erect her
defilement
i’ll believe you when you say it happened
i can’t hear their words
if i’m not in the room
reveal those parts that others relate to and relish in the reaction that we are all revolving around the same renegade revelations that connect our retail rate emotions simmering in caldrons of disjointed sustenance ensuring we are all fed before bed distanced from dread calculating new measures of what it takes to open our eyes when mornings draw open our shades
we know the new dawn will bring us to understanding the ticking of time created by a mime who acts out the sunshine spreading its wings to open mist fields of starlings feeding and catching wind
flocking in sequence
taking turns with no sense
what it means to be alone
we can imitate
climb out of fear fate
feel the feather’s beat in rhythms meant to join us once again to common goals.
my morning stream 