even your forgotten emotions let out a sigh when i walked out of the door

i was thirty-seven, you had suffered an immeasurable reflection for too long

i had her gestures, a face that resembled yours, it was something you couldn’t get over, accidents not averted, following time, we couldn’t pay attention to the mime

hidden hands waving away destiny

what was left?

i played no part

in the memories that made you weep, a seventy year old child, a father unfolding fears and unfound fates unwound and delivered to his six year old babies face

suffering lines trying to hide tears, careening cracks the years spent forcing onto my mask

you left me retracing every morning i asked permission, accept me

your demons given to me

progenies job to slaughter a history, that i never helped design

doubts i didn’t define

those are yours

i’m not there

you chased me out years ago