waiting outside your door

i only knocked once

i heard shuffling without getting up

so i picked up my face and skirted away undressing every memory you taught me to display so they’d see what you wanted

i’m drifting now

place to place in hopes of finding space where i can stretch and feel the sorrow

memories of when we were whole with ripped jeans, rubbing knees, feeding my finger under the fray

wiggling waiting for you to stay fixed on where we were

then the drugs kicked in

you saw everyone was just like me

i lost you

i kept pounding amnesia up my nose

and sticking your warm body blankets in-between my toes so they wouldn’t see what we meant when we said we were up late

on a routine romantic date

capturing more reasons to slink down the path of fragmented trials and miles of guile that we kicked through on our way home

a silver stained sink, scared sofas and a toilet we deserved

i saw the way out

you couldn’t seem to find your shout against earlier year disasters falling in your face that shamed you to believe that was your place

a place to pace and try to erase

unfortunately

you only wrote in sharpie

i want to see you again

begin this thing again

but what i want and you give are sneaking down our dirty life sieve slowly draining my desire to battle with your friend

i can’t see him again

i wish you well

keep the lights dim