from bed, later than usual

lemon scented hallways 

you’re the one who brought me here

seriously, don’t get too close it’s one thing to tell you i can’t maintain but if you knew what was behind the splintered frame i know i’d lose more than my name at least to a few who matter when these wild wind thoughts scatter 

go ahead, touch the grey matter that filters these promises of ‘i’ll get betters’ there isn’t a better 

naked and seeking i begin peaking into your top drawer to figure out what for and underneath unworn underwear i find what first captured my still born heart in a time when i needed you. i can’t do this. continuing to walk side-by-side and share the shame you point and claim it’s them who can’t figure it all out. i make bathroom excuses to fill the void, coming back more human than droid yet no less ready to feel anyone’s reality, we flee. just you and me storming down side streets in first falling rain they think it’s careless love, a post card in their collection of images to ease considering they are desperately seeking another place where scream shouts aren’t heard, how could they let you see this side, with thirty years of fear frighteningly flying out of mouths using words capturing messy ketchup caps and left on lights. can’t you grow up and stop this fight. tonight, they ran too far. crossing carelessly it wasn’t their abandoning of one another , but a car who didn’t see them. headlights. and release from misery. for them. he now carried their deaths the rest of his days.

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