It’s a cruel trick he plays on himself

Breaking one cigarette and putting it back in the pack to see how many times he pulls it out

More than you’d think

A reminder to consider everything he does

including driving to the store when there are three left 

leaving a pile of packs with single broken cigarettes in them on the kitchen table

he figures they’ll come in handy one day

when he’s desperate

i’m not sure what you call this then

she wouldn’t have allowed it

she left

‘allowing’ was the issue

other than self destruction, what does he want?

he willingly gives himself up, to everything

people, drugs, puppies, mugs, silence

‘who are you?’

he hears from behind while lost in a daydream standing backside to the corner store

‘huh?’ he turns while the door closes behind her

she asks him to go for a walk

‘i’m good’ he muttered

she laughed at that

he was caught by surprise, and her pixie cut framing angular features blue eyes protruding

‘come on, man. do i have to pull you off that wall?’ 

she was getting closer.

‘no, really, you should go to another place’

as she neared, she understood and left

‘i’ll get back to you someday.’ she thought while walking away.