Woke up feeling the comfort of tube sock day dreams when all i had to do was smile and you would catch my fear in the side of your cheek where your tongue once lived

it’s not easy

feeling the sideways charm of one whose reach is made to teach more than me

i’m selfish

it’s hard to share the chair with those who stare at the sound of a snare as i rump pump into the room lost to the fake eyed gloom of ones who take advantage of carousel emotions dipping so low the high is unmatched

standing by crying

wishing you would even out

and stay put

stop losing yourself in dead arm survival kits created for match stick boys who can’t even carve decoys worth luring those flying south to sit in a pond of filth fucking water waiting to be shot

why bother

it’s got to clear

this constant window craving

lights blinking

on off on off on off on stop off on quit off on

for me to hold them a little longer